Four Times Dom Shot Wade -- And One Time She Didn't
by alcimines
Summary: The mercenary life can be tough. And romance is a hard thing to find. Particularly when you're Deadpool and Domino.


_Author's Note: For reasons that escape me, Domino is not on the list of characters for X-Men stories. So that's why she's not listed as a character in this story. Also this originally was a story for the "Wolverine and the X-Men" animated series. But the second season - which was supposed to feature Deadpool - never happened. I've moved the story to the general X-Men story section because it makes more sense to be there._

FOUR TIMES DOMINO SHOT WADE - AND ONE TIME SHE DIDN'T

The first time Dom shot Wade, they were on opposite sides of the fight and they didn't know one another yet. It was on an island in the Philippines. Dom was working for the Philippine government, while Wade was working for a gang of smugglers - or at least that was who they thought they were working for. Actually, Dom was working for Japanese intelligence and Wade was working for a one of the Islamic terrorist groups that are a feature of the southern islands. Both had been hired under false pretenses and...

Look, that really doesn't matter. "False Flag" recruitment is a depressingly common reality of mercenary life. What really matters was that they were on different sides. The smugglers / terrorists / freedom-fighters / entrepreneurs / what-the-hell-ever who were employing Deadpool had an operation located on a small island in the Sulu archipelago. And the government that Domino was working for (whichever one it actually happened to be) wanted that operation shut down. The government's plan was to hit the island with an air-mobile assault, but they wanted to keep casualties down. So they needed to prep the target for the attack. Domino got that job.

Domino swam ashore just before the big attack and tucked herself into a decrepit shack located on the far edge of a half-collapsed pier. Then she sniped the two guys who were in charge of the gang.

The government choppers roared in and began disgorging troops into the bad-guy's compound while Dom provided sniper support. Dom was mentally congratulating herself for a job well done, when a soaking-wet figure clad in an outlandish red-and-black costume came crashing through the roof of her hut.

"Surprise!" Wade announced grandly as he landed in a fluid crouch. He had an automatic pistol in one hand and a sword in the other.

Dom was laying on her belly, facing away from Wade and holding a rifle that was pointed towards the shore. She was completely exposed and Wade was almost right on top of her. Wade had her dead to rights.

So naturally, that was when Dom got lucky. That sort of thing happens to her a lot.

Just before Wade pulled the trigger, the plank under his right foot splintered apart and most of his leg went through the floor. The bullet he'd been about to put through Dom's brain went wild and creased her right buttock instead. Then Wade flopped awkwardly forward. His elbow hit the floor, which caused the gun to jump out of his hand and clatter as far away from him as it could go in the tiny shack.

Cursing in three languages, Dom rolled away from Wade and then painfully scrambled to her feet. Blood was leaking down her leg from the bullet wound in her ass.

Wade couldn't get free, so he tried throwing his sword. But Dom managed to deflect it with the pistol she barely managed to draw in time. The sword ended up quivering point-first in one of the shack's corner-posts.

That left Wade unarmed, stuck, and facing an armed and pissed-off Domino.

"Uhm... time out?" Wade suggested hopefully as Dom leveled her pistol at him.

BLAM!

BLAM!

* * *

The second time Dom shot Wade, they were on same side.

They were in a small country located somewhere south of Russia. The country's name had a lot of consonants and not many vowels and only the locals could pronounce it. The primary product of the country was hate. There were at least seven different sides in the civil war that was currently destroying that country. Actually, when you think about it, it was way against the odds that Dom and Wade were working for the same side. However, it happened. Dom and Wade bumped into one another in a half-destroyed factory building in a town that was now mostly abandoned - except for the exhausted and rag-tag troops who were fighting over the town's corpse. Dom and Wade were sent in as reinforcements.

"You..." Dom said slowly.

"Hey! I know you!" Wade said in surprised recognition. "You shot me! Twice! It was on that Indonesian island!"

"It was in the Philippines," Dom corrected automatically.

Wade paused and pondered what Dom had said.

"No. I'm sure it was Indonesia," he finally replied.

"I shot you center-mass. In the chest. Twice. At point-blank range. With a 10mm Glock," Domino continued dazedly.

"Indonesia is way south of the Philippines," Wade continued thoughtfully. "Yeah, they're both all islandy and filled with cute brown girls, but I'd never get them confused."

"Why the hell aren't you dead!?" Domino demanded loudly.

"I heal really fast," Wade said calmly. "And it was Indonesia - not the Philippines."

"You regenerate," Dom said in sudden realization.

Wade nodded cheerfully.

That was when an artillery barrage hit the building they were sheltering in. The battered and unstable building - damaged by weeks of fighting - promptly collapsed. And Dom and Wade both fell into the ruins of the basement. By the time they finished falling, Wade was lying on top of Domino and they were both covered with dust, wood fragments, bits of broken brick, and fragments of mortar.

With a groan, Wade braced himself and pushed upwards, forcing himself out of the pile of debris.

Two things became immediately obvious to Dom. The first was that Wade had controlled their fall into the basement in a mostly successful effort to protect her as much as possible. The other was that having Wade's lean body lying on top of her was immensely distracting.

"Must. Resist. Urge to honk," Wade said solemnly. Despite the ringing in her ears, Domino could clearly hear what he'd said.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Domino growled.

That was when she realized that Wade's hands were on her... chest. There was a very tense pause as Dom and Wade looked into each other's eyes.

And then there was honkage.

And Dom pulled her gun.

BLAM!

BLAM!

BLAM!

* * *

The third time Domino shot Wade, they were working for opposite sides again. This time, the war was in west Africa. Dom was working for a Russian oil company, while Wade was working for a Chinese mining company. But oddly enough, they were both on leave in Mombassa when they finally met.

Dom was drinking gin in a bar called "Roland's". It was a nice-enough place that was very popular with the mercenary set.

"I'm sorry I shot you in the ass, and I'm sorry that I squeezed your boobs," said somebody who was standing right behind Dom.

Dom recognized the voice - it had a peculiarly yellow quality - and it took every bit of willpower she had to not grab for her gun.

"Hi," Dom said as calmly as possible as she rotated her bar-stool to face him. Wade was in his red-and-black outfit - she'd never seen him in anything else. Dom was wearing a bush-jacket, blue jeans, and hiking boots.

Wade sat down next to Dom without asking.

"Okay. I've apologized," Wade said. "Now, how about you?"

Dom thought that over. "How about me what?" she asked eventually.

Wade impatiently pointed a finger at her. "Look, I'll give you a hint: BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!"

"That's one too many," Domino pointed out.

"Hmm?"

"You said, 'BLAM!' six times. And I've only actually shot you five times."

Wade looked heavenward for support, "Oh? Really? Geeze, excuse me! But I guess I got all confused when those bullets of yours were bouncing around inside my body. I must have lost count."

Domino shrugged, "Whatever. I'm not apologizing."

"Why not?!"

"The first time I shot you, it was fully justified," Dom pointed out. "It was part of an op and you actually shot me first."

Wade seemed to consider that, "Well... okay. You got me there. But what about the second time?"

"You groped me."

"The building collapsed around us and I landed on you that way! Your boobs attacked my hands! I'm the victim here!"

Dom took a long pull from her drink, "Maybe that was how it started out, but the squeezing-thing didn't have anything to do with how we landed in that basement. You deliberately and with malice aforethought copped a feel."

"For Pete's sake, Dom! I was just playing along!"

Dom frowned at that, "Playing along with what?"

"The way you had your legs wrapped around me... you were really into what was going on!"

Dom took a deep breath, and then let it out slowly before answering, "I was not 'into' anything. And my legs weren't wrapped around you."

And then Wade did the unthinkable. He shut up. And he looked Dom right in the eyes.

Dom emptied her glass and licked her lips nervously. For some reason, she felt it neccesary to justify what she had just said to Wade.

"There was some rubble underneath me and I wasn't lying perfectly level."

Wade still didn't say anything. He just kept looking at her.

"So I suppose it was possible that you might have interpreted the resulting... elevation and compression of my legs as... as..."

"You had your feet tucked inside my legs and you were rubbing up against me!" Wade growled.

Dom blinked hard, "And as I tried to get out from under you, it's possible you might have interpreted that... motion... as... rubbing..."

"And thrusting," Wade added helpfully.

"There was definitely no thrusting," Dom said firmly.

"There absolutely was! And there was rubbing AND thrusting. And your nipples were hard, so I..."

"Dammit, Wade!" Dom roared as she jumped to her feet, "THERE WAS NO RUBBING AND NO THRUSTING AND MY NIPPLES WERE NOT HARD AND I WAS NOT THINKING ABOUT RIPPING YOUR PANTS OFF AND FUCKING YOU SENSELESS RIGHT THEN AND THERE!"

That's when Dom suddenly realized that the entire bar was dead silent as everyone listened in rapt attention.

Someone began applauding. Others slowly joined in.

Dom's eyes narrowed. Wade's eyes went wide. He tried to dive over the bar, but it was too late.

BLAM!

BLAM!

BLAM!

BLAM!

* * *

The fourth time Dom shot Wade was in Baghdad. They were about to be the same side.

"Domino," the CIA guy said, "this is Deadpool. He..."

BLAM!

BLAM!

BLAM!

BLAM!

BLAM!

BLAM!

BLAM!

BLAM!

BLAM!

BLAM!

* * *

Wade was enjoying the show in a particularly shady Bangkok strip-club when the voice he had come to think of as the most terrifying in the universe spoke up behind him.

"Hi, Wade," Dom said quietly. "I think it's time to clear-up a few things between us."

The pretty Thai girl in a string bikini who was occupying Wade's lap immediately jumped to her feet and fled. So did the other customers and dancers in the immediate area.

Every square inch of Wade's body was tingling in anticipation of the hail of bullets that he was sure were about to tear into him. He really didn't like getting shot - it hurt. And by now Dom had an established track record of repeatedly shooting him. There were whole armies that Wade had fought who hadn't managed to shoot him as many times as Domino had.

"Dom!" Wade began grandly. "How're you! I'm fine! You're fine! Everything's fine! The "no shooting is required" kind of fine! Don't you agree?"

"Dammit, Wade, stop babbling!" Dom ordered.

"Babbling?! I'm not babbling!" Wade babbled. "I'm just so happy, and excited, and terrified to see you! And that makes me talk a lot!"

Domino reached over and grabbed Wade's lower face. That was what it took to shut him up. Meanwhile, the bar was frantically emptying. By now, a lot of people had heard that encounters between Dom and Wade tended to eventually involve lots of flying bullets. And nobody was in a hurry to be a close range participant.

"You remember back in that collapsed building?" Dom said through gritted teeth.

Wade nodded.

"My legs were around you," Dom confessed.

Wade nodded again.

"And... I was reacting to that. I certainly wouldn't call it 'rubbing and thrusting', but I was... reacting," she continued.

Wade hesitantly nodded a third time.

"And I honestly don't know about the nipple situation," Dom said carefully.

"Mfard n' mpointi!" Wade mumbled through Dom's hand.

Dom let go of Wade's face. "If you said, 'hard and pointy', I'm going to shoot you again," she said dangerously.

Wade thought that over.

"They were happy to see me," he replied hesitantly.

"I'll accept that as an answer that doesn't require violence," Dom responded stoically.

Wade let out a sigh of relief.

"Does this mean you're sorry about shooting me?" he asked.

Dom thought that over. She had the air of someone carefully considering a question from many different angles.

"I think so," she said. "Especially the last time. Ten times was definitely over-kill. And I got us both fired. That was unprofessional."

Wade grinned - which was hard to tell given the mask he wore - and reached behind the bar to grab a bottle. And Domino couldn't help but check out Wade's ass as he leaned over the bar.

"So... can I buy you a drink?" Wade inquired as he held up the bottle and a semi-clean glass.

Domino smiled and unconsciously touched her hair with a gesture that was as old as Eve. Or maybe she was checking on the poison needle that she kept tucked there.

"Sure," she said as she sat down next to Wade.


End file.
